Sunday, August 28, 2011

Never Say Never...

For a long time I have tried to refrain from being judgmental when it comes to other peoples' parenting decisions.  Although, anyone who knows me well will tell you that I am not always so good at biting my tongue.  I tend to voice my opinion - if not through my words, you can often see it in my face!

Now that I'm a parent, I'm glad that I wasn't too public about my thoughts on parenting.  I have learned quickly to never say never!  

Paul & I definitely had our ideas about how we were going to parent.  We watched others to see what we thought worked & what didn't work for them.  Then we discussed our views & came up with what we felt would work for us.  But since Nolin was born, a lot of our views are completely the opposite of what we thought.

I think sometimes parents make decisions because it makes things easier.  I'm sure Paul & I have made several of those decisions also.  But we have also changed our minds about some things & the change actually makes us have to work harder.  These changes are worth it though, because it is what we feel is best for Nolin.  For example - breastfeeding.  It has not be an easy ride!  But I have been lucky enough to be successful to far.  I'm thankful for that, because I know that some cannot breastfeed for different reasons.

Today I came across a blog post from a woman who is not yet a parent.  It was entitled, "10 Things I Swear I'll Never Do as a Parent".  Pretty strong statement, I think.  I was immediately curious when I saw the title, unsure as to what things things would be.  This could go so many different ways.  Please read the post yourself to see what you think, but below is the list of the 10 things:
  1. Use a leash.
  2. Give them a pacifier.
  3. Talk baby talk.
  4. Dress them in novelty onesies/tees.
  5. Tolerate picky eaters.
  6. Tip-toe when they're sleeping.
  7. Allow them to interrupt adult conversations.
  8. Buy the popular toy.
  9. Stay stroller-bound.
  10. Pull them out of school for vacation.
There are several of these that I agree with &/or understand the authors reasoning, but there are a few that I'm afraid she will find out about the hard way.  For example - the pacifier...  Paul & I didn't want to use a pacifier at first either, mostly because we didn't want to cause breastfeeding trouble.  Nolin didn't have a pacifier for the first month of her life.  But we pulled it out at one month & it was a great decision!!  We don't want her to be walking around with it at 2 years old, so we plan to take it away before she gets too old.  But, we definitely don't say "never" in regards to the paci now.

When it comes to tip-toeing when Nolin is sleeping, yes, we do tip-toe at times.  When you are completely sleep deprived & finally got your newborn to sleep after 4 hours of screaming, you tend to want to tip-toe!  Now we don't tip-toe around after Nolin is in a good sleep for her naps or at night.  But there is definitely a time to tip-toe when a baby has just fallen asleep.

Like I mentioned above, I do agree with a few of the authors' list.  We like to wear Nolin now, instead of using a stroller & don't plan to use a stroller much when Nolin is older either.  BUT, I know that once she is bigger & we are out somewhere walking for a while, I will be reaching for the stroller!  You just can't pack a toddler around all day... 

I also agree with the child interrupting adult conversations.  BUT, I know that it will happen & those will be teaching opportunities. 

When it comes to picky eating, Paul & I definitely hope Nolin is not that way.  BUT, I understand that I was a picky eater (& still am at times), so sometimes you just can't help it.  I feel like you should simply not encourage picky eating...

As far as buying the popular toys goes, we hope that we don't find ourselves in line at Toys R'Us at midnight on Christmas Eve, but we will not say never!  We have learned that when you become a parent, you do crazy things to see your child smile!  :)

Anyway, all of this is to say - I'm afraid this mom-to-be will find herself eating a few of her words...  Never say never!


  1. I like this post a lot. There were many things that I said I'd never do as a parent, but when you actually have that baby in your arms, things change. Unfortunately, I also learned not to say "my child will never do THAT" when it came to things like screaming in the middle of the grocery store and whatnot because that too will change once the child gets older!

  2. Hey Brandi! Just found your blog. It's great! I totally relate to the "I will never do that..." idea and then changing it pretty fast once we had Elijah. We were especially set that he wouldn't watch much TV, which he doesn't (technically) but he does watch more Sesame Street on the iphone YouTube than I had ever thought we would allow. But he just loves it SO MUCH. Hope Nolin is feeling better! Take care, EG

  3. LOL I can't imagine not talking "baby talk." It's just a requirement!!! Wow, I can't even begin to list all the things I said I'd "never" do... and then did!!!