Some days are difficult. Today is one of them.
I want so much to be a great mom who is always patient, always knows how to handle every situation that may arise, always knows the right thing to say, & juggles two kids brilliantly. But some days I just don't feel like I am so great. Some days, I just feel like a huge failure.
I say all of the time how much I love my babies. I have great kids. Nolin really is such a wonderful, fun, energetic, & loving little girl. I love her to pieces! But, she is a toddler & she does push the limits. When she does, I am patient for a while. But, when she really pushes the limits, I sometimes lose my patience. When I lose my patience, I get so disappointed in myself.
On hard days...
It doesn't help that I'm still so hormonal!
It doesn't help that I worry constantly about every single little thing!
It doesn't help that I feel like a failure as a house wife (or even wife in general). I am nowhere near domestic or crafty. I wish I could be a SAHM who takes care of the children, crafts for extra income, gardens for our fruits & vegetables, & cooks three meals a day for my family, all while keeping the house spotless. But, I just don't think this is me & I tend to beat myself up about it. I'm thirty years old & still stink at cooking - at this point, I am not sure I will ever be a cook! Paul is hard at work so that I can be home with our children & the only thing I feel like I am successful with as a SAHM is loving my children & keeping them alive during the day!
It doesn't help that I am so far away from family & friends. Yes, we chose this, but it doesn't make it any easier. I'm still going to have days where I miss home & that is allowed.
It doesn't help that I'm married to Super Dad! I love Paul so much, but I tell you, sometimes I am just jealous that he does everything so well - especially on days that I feel like a bad mom or a failure as a house wife. Paul always seems to have it together. He makes everything seem so easy. Honestly, he should probably stay home with the kids while I work. But I know he does a better job at work than I would also! ;)
Despite all of these things...
I have to think about all that I have & I must remember to be thankful. I truly am thankful. When it comes to my children, my husband, my family, my friends, my comfortable living - I really couldn't ask for anything more. I must continue on & try to do my best. I must do what I think is right & hope that I raise my children to be good people - better than me. I must continue to love my family & pray that is all that matters - that they feel loved!
To all of you moms out there - how do you do it?! How do you get everything done? How do you keep your patience? & how do you make time for yourself? I need all of the advice I can get! :)
I want so much to be a great mom who is always patient, always knows how to handle every situation that may arise, always knows the right thing to say, & juggles two kids brilliantly. But some days I just don't feel like I am so great. Some days, I just feel like a huge failure.
I say all of the time how much I love my babies. I have great kids. Nolin really is such a wonderful, fun, energetic, & loving little girl. I love her to pieces! But, she is a toddler & she does push the limits. When she does, I am patient for a while. But, when she really pushes the limits, I sometimes lose my patience. When I lose my patience, I get so disappointed in myself.
On hard days...
It doesn't help that I'm still so hormonal!
It doesn't help that I worry constantly about every single little thing!
It doesn't help that I feel like a failure as a house wife (or even wife in general). I am nowhere near domestic or crafty. I wish I could be a SAHM who takes care of the children, crafts for extra income, gardens for our fruits & vegetables, & cooks three meals a day for my family, all while keeping the house spotless. But, I just don't think this is me & I tend to beat myself up about it. I'm thirty years old & still stink at cooking - at this point, I am not sure I will ever be a cook! Paul is hard at work so that I can be home with our children & the only thing I feel like I am successful with as a SAHM is loving my children & keeping them alive during the day!
It doesn't help that I am so far away from family & friends. Yes, we chose this, but it doesn't make it any easier. I'm still going to have days where I miss home & that is allowed.
It doesn't help that I'm married to Super Dad! I love Paul so much, but I tell you, sometimes I am just jealous that he does everything so well - especially on days that I feel like a bad mom or a failure as a house wife. Paul always seems to have it together. He makes everything seem so easy. Honestly, he should probably stay home with the kids while I work. But I know he does a better job at work than I would also! ;)
Despite all of these things...
I have to think about all that I have & I must remember to be thankful. I truly am thankful. When it comes to my children, my husband, my family, my friends, my comfortable living - I really couldn't ask for anything more. I must continue on & try to do my best. I must do what I think is right & hope that I raise my children to be good people - better than me. I must continue to love my family & pray that is all that matters - that they feel loved!
To all of you moms out there - how do you do it?! How do you get everything done? How do you keep your patience? & how do you make time for yourself? I need all of the advice I can get! :)
I read your blogs all the time. My son turned 11 months today. I read your blogs for current updates and old posts of my sons current age. (_to get insight for that age). Your posts are well written and express the thoughts I think most moms feel. I did learned from a mom of 3 young boys..no one does everthing, its survial, and don't be so hard on yourself. I think she is right. Your kids are alive and loved. Job well done to me. :) I get your feelings through with just one.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! That is a great lesson! :)
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