Thursday, February 7, 2013

Let's Be Honest...

Some days are difficult.  Today is one of them.

I want so much to be a great mom who is always patient, always knows how to handle every situation that may arise, always knows the right thing to say, & juggles two kids brilliantly.  But some days I just don't feel like I am so great.  Some days, I just feel like a huge failure.

I say all of the time how much I love my babies.  I have great kids.  Nolin really is such a wonderful, fun, energetic, & loving little girl.  I love her to pieces!  But, she is a toddler & she does push the limits.  When she does, I am patient for a while.  But, when she really pushes the limits, I sometimes lose my patience.  When I lose my patience, I get so disappointed in myself. 

On hard days...

It doesn't help that I'm still so hormonal!

It doesn't help that I worry constantly about every single little thing!

It doesn't help that I feel like a failure as a house wife (or even wife in general).  I am nowhere near domestic or crafty.  I wish I could be a SAHM who takes care of the children, crafts for extra income, gardens for our fruits & vegetables, & cooks three meals a day for my family, all while keeping the house spotless.  But, I just don't think this is me & I tend to beat myself up about it.  I'm thirty years old & still stink at cooking - at this point, I am not sure I will ever be a cook!  Paul is hard at work so that I can be home with our children & the only thing I feel like I am successful with as a SAHM is loving my children & keeping them alive during the day!

It doesn't help that I am so far away from family & friends.  Yes, we chose this, but it doesn't make it any easier.  I'm still going to have days where I miss home & that is allowed.  

It doesn't help that I'm married to Super Dad!  I love Paul so much, but I tell you, sometimes I am just jealous that he does everything so well - especially on days that I feel like a bad mom or a failure as a house wife.  Paul always seems to have it together.  He makes everything seem so easy.  Honestly, he should probably stay home with the kids while I work.  But I know he does a better job at work than I would also!  ;)

Despite all of these things...

I have to think about all that I have & I must remember to be thankful.  I truly am thankful.  When it comes to my children, my husband, my family, my friends, my comfortable living - I really couldn't ask for anything more.  I must continue on & try to do my best.  I must do what I think is right & hope that I raise my children to be good people - better than me.  I must continue to love my family & pray that is all that matters - that they feel loved!

To all of you moms out there - how do you do it?!  How do you get everything done?  How do you keep your patience?  & how do you make time for yourself?  I need all of the advice I can get!  :)



  1. I read your blogs all the time. My son turned 11 months today. I read your blogs for current updates and old posts of my sons current age. (_to get insight for that age). Your posts are well written and express the thoughts I think most moms feel. I did learned from a mom of 3 young one does everthing, its survial, and don't be so hard on yourself. I think she is right. Your kids are alive and loved. Job well done to me. :) I get your feelings through with just one.

    1. Thank you so much! That is a great lesson! :)