Sunday, July 15, 2012

My Baby is Weaned - My Heart is Broken

Tonight I rocked Nolin to sleep without nursing her.  It was so much harder than I imagined it would be.  I cried the entire time we rocked.  Nolin, surprisingly, took it very well.  I knew the time was coming, I just didn't realize that last night would be the last time I nursed my baby girl.

I think Nolin has done very well with weaning, since it has been a slow process.  When we found out that we were expecting Tiny Markham #2, I immediately began weaning Nolin from night nursing.  She was twelve months at the time & did not need to be nursing all night.  I knew that my body couldn't take a growing baby & a constant nurser, so it was necessary.  So when Nolin would wake at night, Paul would go to her & put her back to sleep.  It was difficult for a few nights, but pretty quickly Nolin began sleeping.  Eventually I was able to go to her when she awoke at night & she knew there would be no nursing.  Shortly after Nolin was weaned at night, I began only nursing her in the morning, at nap, & at bedtime.  When Nolin was thirteen months old I decided to wean her from naptime nursing.  She protested for a few days, but instead took her paci & was shortly weaned from naptime nursing.  Around 14 months I decided to wean her from morning nursing.  This one was easier than I thought, because I would just take her whole milk when she would wake in the morning.

Well, tonight I began the nighttime weaning.  Nolin went to sleep without nursing, so there will be no more.  :(  I didn't have such a hard time weaning her from nursing at other times, but tonight was so difficult.  I guess it was because there will be no more nursing at all!  Before I knew I would have that bonding time at night.

Despite how hard this is for me, I am so thankful that I was able to nurse Nolin as long as I have.  Before she was born I wasn't very confident in my ability to breastfeed.  When she & I were learning to nurse, there were even many times that I just wanted to stop.  It was hard!  But I am so thankful that I stuck it out.  She has been such a healthy little girl & I know that has something to do with it. 


  1. Funny the things you think may not work out ends up being such a great experience... I felt the same way about starting to nurse when we had Charlie and was so sad when he weaned himself at 15 months...a lifelong memory for us mamas and a lifelong boost for our babies immunity! :)

  2. Congrats on going so long Brandi! Nursing is such an intimate bonding time...I know I will be losing that with Victoria soon. She is down to nursing three times a day. I can't wait to hear more news about that growing baby belly. Lets get the girls together soon!